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Tips for Toning Down Conflict during Divorce

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How do you keep conflict from making divorce more difficult?

The divorce process is different for everyone.  While it takes two people to marry, it only takes one to create a really difficult situation during divorce.  We work routinely with individuals and couples moving through the dissolution of their marriage.  Less conflict translates to greater satisfaction with divorce agreements, and less time and money spent getting a new start on life for you and your family.

Here are some helpful tips to try during your separation or divorce to help ease conflict:

Understand that divorce does not have to mean high conflict: The tenor of a marriage relationship often has something to say about how a divorce will play out.  Couples with a high level of dissatisfaction with each other and their marriage may have a difficult time finding common ground long enough to make important agreements about their children, assets, and spousal support.  It is also true that couples who have grown emotionally distant may have just as hard a time going through divorce as couples who disagree continuously. Regardless of where you are on this relationship continuum, the basic fact is that the less marriage conflict that you bring into your divorce—the better off you and your family will be.  Divorce does not have to be long, ugly, or expensive—it is really a means to an end, not the beginning of the next battle.

Not your fault: Marriages end for a reason.  The qualities that dismay you about your partner may become exaggerated during divorce.  People are rarely at their best during divorce, but working to take the high road throughout your divorce will leave you happier when you look back in years to come.  If your partner thrives on high conflict and disruption, it is not your fault.  Find a divorce process that supports the tendencies of both parties.  For example, collaborative divorce may not be the best choice if a high conflict spouse is involved.

Use your attorney: Choose your divorce attorney  Interview several and choose a lawyer who fits your personality, needs, and pocketbook.  Look for experience with the type of divorce in which you are interested. An attorney helps you understand the specifics of divorce, guides you through the process, and can quickly step in when difficulty arises.  For intense or difficult divorces, communicating through your attorney can quickly notch down stress between parties and reduce divorce to the transitional legal process it is intended to be.  When you need legal support, do not fight with your spouse via text—talk to your divorce attorney.

Dedicated family law attorney helps you in Baltimore today

With offices in Stevenson, the Law Offices of Allyson B. Goldscher, LLC serve individuals and families throughout Baltimore and Baltimore County.  When you have questions about divorce, property division or child custody, contact us or call 410-602-9522. We are here to help.