The unsettling fact about marriage is that nearly 45 percent of them will end in divorce. That undoubtedly leaves a lot of children confused, scared, and uncertain about their futures. The disruption in family living situations, schedules, and relationships as a result of divorce can leave children angry and sad. Couples may divorce, but they will co-parent for years to come. Approaching divorce and child custody issues with care and consideration will allow children to remain resilient and well-adjusted.
Telling children about the divorce together is the first step in protecting their sense of security. Presenting a unified front as you face this new family dynamic reminds children that although their parents are no longer romantically connected, they are forever connected in parenthood. Children need to know that they did not cause the divorce and that nothing will jeopardize their parental bonds.
Honesty is also crucial when discussing divorce with children. Obviously children need to be spared the painful details of why parents are divorcing. However, they do need to know what to expect with this enormous change. Answer their questions in age-appropriate ways and allow room for anger and sadness. Honestly express your disappointment about the end of your marriage, but reassure children that your love for them will never waver.
Maintaining your child’s routine is also important. Change in access to a parent is hard for children. It threatens their sense of safety and stability. If changes in school or residence are inevitable, retain some familiar aspects of their day, be it story time before bed or pizza on Friday nights. Both parents should uphold these rituals so that children feel a sense of continuity while they transition between homes.
Parents also need to refrain from putting children in the middle of a divorce regardless of how amicable or acrimonious it may be. Parents should never disparage each other in front of their children. Children need the freedom to formulate their own feelings about their parents apart from the divorce. Kids should not be asked to deliver messages between parents, report on the other parent, or choose sides.
Divorce will always be painful for the children involved, but healing is possible. Seeing parents divorce and co-parent in a healthy, respectful way can teach children lessons about dealing with disappointment and change. Utilizing professional counsel through the process can help parents avoid mistakes that can cause children unnecessary pain.
Baltimore Divorce Lawyers at the Law Offices of Allyson B. Goldscher, LLC Compassionately Advocate for the Healthiest Child Custody Resolution
Children should be spared from the adult realities of divorce. They need to feel a sense of security, safety, and unconditional love throughout the process. If you are facing a divorce in Maryland, Baltimore divorce lawyers at the Law Offices of Allyson B. Goldscher, LLC will represent you through the complicated process of physical and legal custody during the separation and divorce process. Call us at 410-602-9522 or contact us online.